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  • joseph valley

    I get pretty excited about the whole holiday season thing. Can we call it Christmas or are we still mad at the Christian Institution? I can never tell anymore. Christmas-time. Baby Jesus, for crying out loud, is the reason for the season. Maybe that’s why we all look so sad during the holidays…at times….when alone…and the kabustle has lulled to a din…we remember that the reason for the season will find a brutal and violent death. And every year this plays out. Birth, death, and resurrection, just like eat, digest, and poop. It’s so depressing. We should all just move to Seattle to live amongst the high suicide rate. Why live? Why live if your life will be that of a martyr? If I were Jesus…fuck it, man. Fuck it. Who asked you? God? Whaaaateeeever.

    But, yeah. I still get excited about “The Holiday Season.” The American Communion during this time provides the wonderful opportunity to not work as much and to eat more. Then there’s the shame. I love the shame. I thrive on it. Thank you Christian Institution. [Did you know that 25% of Americans consider themselves Evangelical? This is according to that neat documentary film, “Jesus Camp.”] The shame involved in this season is great. READ THIS NEXT SENTENCE CAREFULLY: Not only should you feel bad for being so bad that God had to send his only son to be brutally murdered, but you should feel bad about eating food in celebration of that very son’s birth. Remember that consuming is not only your right as an American, but it’s also necessary for holding the calling card to the spiritual shame you must endure in order to call this your homeland.

    And c’mon. When I use the world “homeland” I mean anything that was settled by the white person and her/his masculine god.

    I still enjoy the holidays. I really do. I love the Amy Grant Christmas music. “Another Tennessee Christmas” is one of my favorites. I like any cd put out by Starbucks that may or may not be titled “Holiday Sampler.” I love how hard they try to focus on the non-religious or spiritual aspects of the particular time of year between Thanksgiving and New Years. America is trying so hard to forget its Christian roots. Why wouldn’t it? What the Hell did Jesus ever do for this you?

    I just read an article [http://www.reuters.com/article/marketsNews/idUSN0746551320081207]about a mega-church in Detroit who parked three brand new SUV’s just behind the pulpit for a sermon last weekend. Something about how the Detroit autoworkers want Congress to give motor city some of that bailout cash. Seriously. The mega-church pastor guy was all praying for this money. Maybe Jesus is gonna do something for the car manufacturers. But the article goes on to say, “Other Detroit-area religious leaders — including Christian, Muslim and Jewish leaders convened by Cardinal Adam Maida — have urged Congress to approve an auto aid package.” I am not kidding. Maybe it’s not just Jesus who can save you but Muslim god and Congress, too.

    Two words: Bing Crosby. What Holiday Season of mine would be complete without his Hawaiian holiday song, “Mele Kalikimaka”? If I were to describe to you Crosby’s music, then I should probably use words like “crooning” and “Utterly Patriarchal.” Show me a man with a voice like that and all those female background vocals who doesn’t put women first. Or something. No, really. All of that post-WWII American nationalism can be heard in Crosby’s unashamedly Christian- based holiday music. How does he do it? Really? No shame at all?

    So, yeah. I love the American Communion during the Holiday Season. I just try super duper hard to not care about anything but fitting in and doing the right thing. Oh, and getting stuff.

  • http://wheneatingawolf.com nick

    I am following. Occasionally, comments on blogs run like freshman year in art school. “I like this picture”… “I don’t like this picture.” Asking why will yield little to no response.

    That is absolutely not what your response is Joseph. However, I am eternally in freshman year of art school and all I really have to say at the moment is “I like this picture.”

  • Joseph Valley

    I like it, too.